In Honor of Married Sex…
3 Winning Sex Plays
“Goodness! Is this thing gonna hold me up? I’m not as light as I use to be you know.” The makeshift stairs creaked and shifted a little, as India gingerly tipped her way up and into the dimly lit classroom. Scanning the scene from left to right, she silently questioned why there wasn’t more light? Hunching her shoulders she decided there must be a reason. She was late again anyway so who was she to question anything? She couldn’t even make it on time. What was her issue? She was usually somewhere daydreaming. She had that problem you know. One minute she is deep into a project or conversation with someone and the next minute her mind finds itself off on a journey of colors, hills and valleys, bright lights, emotions, and who knows what else! Vivid imagination is what her mother use to call it. Fortunately, that is not the case this time. This time it wasn’t her fault. It was her best friend Asa’s fault. It took every ounce of convincing and promising to get Asa to come along with her to this class. “But it was alright”, India reasoned; “It will be worth it.” They quickly found seats in the back of the room, eased into them, and prepared themselves for what was sure to be an interesting evening.
Diamond Devonshire, the instructor, wasn’t attractive as in pretty but she had this… this something extra; a confidence that made her kind of sexy. It was evident in how she walked, stood, even picked up her marker to write. Now India Rae is full blown heterosexual but she had to admit, the way Mrs. Devonshire turned around, slowly and deliberately, a markedly seductive look in her eyes, caught even India in her spell, semi-hypnotized her.
Is this appropriate; this…look? The thought shot into India’s mind at lightning speed. Then just as quickly another thought popped into her head: “Oh yeah this is a class for mature audiences.”
“I’m going to educate you in the fine art of Basketball”, she heard Mrs. D. saying. “Basketball?” The word was out of India’s mouth before she could stop it. “I-I…thought this was a sexual education workshop.” India was not usually this outspoken in class. That is why it surprised everyone in the room, especially the instructor, when the words escaped through her usually tight lips and out into the silence.
“My dear India, it is a sexual education class,” replied Mrs. D. Why, haven’t you ever heard of metaphors, similes, and allegories and how much fun it is when you use them? So let’s have some fun!
“Who can name three expressions of communication?” Mrs. D. asked. Four hands went up, then six, then ten. India’s hand was one of them and Mrs. D. ceremoniously called on her in a sing-song kind of way. Inn-dddiii-a? “Texting, voicemail, and e-mail.”, said India, beaming like she had just answered a question that would win her a big prize on The Price is Right! Mrs. D. smiled, pleased with India’s answer. “Yes, you’re absolutely correct.”
“Next question. Who can explain to me the difference between these three types of communication?” More hands go up. “My, my, my,” Mrs. D. observes. “This is an engaging class. We are surely going to get into some trouble tonight! OK Samantha, take it.” “OK. So when you send a text message the message is short and quick. When you leave a voicemail the message is a little lengthier, and you’re able to be more thorough in getting your message across. And when you leave an e-mail message, you can write a story book! You can take your time and proof-read each word or sentence before you hit send and be totally satisfied with what you sent.”
“Most excellent explanation Sam!, exclaimed Mrs. Devonshire. You see most of us are very familiar with these three expressions of communication, and it started me thinking about how I could use something I am familiar with to describe three expressions of lovemaking. Oooh, did I just say that? Yes I did!” Mrs. D. seemed to be most amused with herself. “So being that I love basketball so much, something unusual came to mind. Now if you don’t know anything about basketball, that’s alright. I can guarantee you by the time I get done explaining it all to you, you will at least have some general knowledge and… you will never think of basketball ever the same way again! So let’s get to it.
Now we have already touched on the three expressions of communication: text message, voicemail, and e-mail, right? Well just as there are three expressions of communication, the game of basketball has different ways to score a basket but we will focus on three of them and we’ll change things up a bit and rename these plays to three types of sexual expression: Fast Break, Post-up Move, Set Play.
The first “expression” is called a fast break; when a team moves the basketball up the court into scoring position in an effort to score as quickly as possible. It’s a fast and easy score. In lovemaking, this is called a “quickie” or fast break sex and usually lasts about 3-5 minutes. John Gray, author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, says, although this type of sex doesn’t appeal to most women it really boils down to your man’s legitimate need to just have sex; the act, and not worry about having to take a lot of time during this play. It may be quick but just like the fast-break play, it’s easy, satisfying, it feels good, and it can be very enjoyable.
The second “expression” is called a post-up move. There is an area on the court called the low, post near the free throw line, where a player uses a post-up move to push his defender back so he can get closer to the basket and score. This move takes a little bit more work but can eventually lead to a score. This is “middle ground” sex or post-up sex and usually last about 15-30 minutes. This is the sex play that is warm and satisfying lovemaking; the kind most couples engage in. Like the post-up move this lovemaking takes a little more effort but the rewards are very satisfying.
The third “expression” is called a set play; a strategically planned sequence of movements to get open shots and score points. It is used many times to score three pointers which is the highest point total for a single shot. This type of offense “prolongs the play” and allows the team with the ball to score. Set play sex is the type of lovemaking most women love! And it can last for hours, even days! It’s all about that special, romantic, and long-lasting, lovemaking women receive without outside worry, distractions, or responsibilities. Although most women would love to have this type of sexual encounter all the time, the reality is we can’t because there are too many other obligations in our lives. Well, we can dream can’t we? But the truth is this type of lovemaking is essential if you want to extend the life of your marriage.
Everyone in the room stared wide-eyed in mesmerized awe by Mrs. D’s take on sexual expression and how she related it to basketball. “How clever”, India thought. Mrs. D. wasn’t done, though. She suggested wives take turns with their husbands planning these special times of love encounters; at least once a month. She gave us another option if that is too frequent: Once every one and a half months, but no less. She reminded us that the more we do it the more we’ll want to do it and that it’s a vital priority!
Mrs. Devonshire paused for what seemed like an eternity, scanning the room, resting her gaze on each one of us; that seductive look again, (although it didn’t make India as uncomfortable as it did in the beginning of class), then finally proceeded. “Fast-break sex, post-up sex, and set play sex are three different types of sexual expression that should be included in your lovemaking repertoire. Just like basketball is a game of habits where the players with the best habits are always the best shooters, ball handlers, and playmakers, lovemaking is also a game of habits where the wives with the best habits always have the most exciting times, and are always the best lovers.”
As the class wound down, Mrs. D. concluded it by saying, “So the next time you both sit down to watch your favorite sport’s team, you just might get sparked and pull out your “playbook” to run one of these plays! So have fun together and brainstorm some creative ways to communicate what brings you both pleasure. But most of all enjoy because after all, God did give the gift of sexual pleasure to married husbands and wives!” India final thought: “She is right, I will never look at basketball the same again!”
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