Let’s talk about Marriage
What is marriage?
Marriage is when two people, male and female, who have different opinions, thoughts, beliefs, and worldviews, decide to come together and try to fit square pegs into round holes, in order to try to make a life together that works for them both.
Why is marriage important?
Marriage is important because, 1. God ordained it, 2. To be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth, 3. To enjoy the gift of sex God gave to marriage without guilt, and 4. To stabilize and build strong individuals, which builds strong families, which build strong churches, which build strong communities, which build a strong and stable world.
Someone said you’re only happy in marriage 50% of the time. And the other 50%, you’re basically trying to figure out what the hell you got yourself into! Do you agree or disagree?
Tyler Perry has a movie titled, “Why did I get Married? On their retreat each person was asked to share why they got married.
People get married for different reasons: Some for love; some for finances; some for convenience; and some for purpose.
Some people think if you marry for finances or convenience, the marriage will fizzle out pretty quickly. Some think if you get married for love it will last forever. Then some say if you marry for purpose, it’s destined to be fulfilled no matter what.
Well the truth of the matter is, I’ve seen marriages of convenience and finance last a lifetime; I’ve seen marriages of pure love fizzle out pretty quickly; and I’ve seen marriages of purpose never get off the ground, let alone be fulfilled.
How do you do the Marriage Thing?
All that said, I want to share my concepts, thoughts, and ideas on the “Stages of Marriage and even add a timeline, so you can get a clearer view of the inner and outer workings, and apply what fits for you to help you build a long-lasting marriage.
Marriage Mathematics – Math concepts-Stages of Marriage
Stage 1 – Addition, Subtraction, Multiplication: The Honeymoon
Addition, the easiest; followed by subtraction and multiplication, which takes a different set of skills, but are equally as easy- The Honeymoon Stage-Lasts about 6 months -2 yrs.
Stage 2 – Division, Fractions, Alg 1, Geometry, Alg 2: The Power Struggle
Division, Fractions, Algebra 1, Geometry, Algebra 2-are next level difficulty. The Power Struggle Stage. People stay in this stage waaay too long. Lasts about 2- 15 yrs.
Stage 3 – Trig, Stats, Calculus: The Verge of Divorce
Trigonometry, Statistics, Calculus – the most difficult level. The Verge of Divorce Stage/lost, which is making a decision on if you want to stay together or not. If you decide to stay together you must forgive any hurts, disappointments, and betrayals, and sincerely pray to God. If you’re not sincere He will not answer your prayer. If you are, He will.
I believe part of marriage is being on the verge of divorce. Every married couple I have talked to has been here, including us! I never in a million years thought we would get there, but we did. How long it lasts: Depends…
Stage 4 – Formulas: The Mature Love
Formulas, are cheat sheets: The Mature Love Stage. When you both say, “Awww, what the hell. I’m stuck with you anyway so I might as well make the best of it.” Then something shifts and you begin to accept and appreciate each other for your differences and what you add to the marriage. Then all is well in Wonderland. This is where you want to stay. How long it lasts: Til death do you part.
So, what is the truth about marriage? How do you know if it’ll work or not? Well, you don’t. You could have the best laid plans but maybe they don’t work out. So, what do you do and what does all this mean?
What it all means is marriage is a choice; a choice to understand that there are no guarantees; a choice to stay when you want to throw in the towel; a choice to demonstrate love when the only thing you’re feeling is disgust, irritation, and whatever other emotions come with the marriage territory.
So, be sure when you make a choice to get married, you’ve thought it thru and are really ready to make that commitment. It can be a challenge but it can also be life-changing and beautiful.
The End Game
Lastly, don’t think just because you argue, fight, and disagree, and by fight I don’t mean any type of abuse, that it means the end of your marriage. No, it’s quite the contrary. Disagreements are necessary to help you and your spouse learn how to figure it all out and that helps you grow into healthy individuals, which creates a healthy long-lasting marriage.
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