First Comes the Healing

In Honor of Married Sex…

What?! God has a perspective about sex?! Who told you that?! It’s in the Bible? Where? India was beside herself when she first heard about it. Simply couldn’t believe it. Who would? Who could? “Where is it”, she demanded again. “This is something I must know about!” All India ever remembered was the negative talk, that it was a sin, dirty, only for the man’s enjoyment, a chore, something she just had to endure. But what she was hearing now was the total opposite, that God had thoughts on it; Good thoughts. That He wants married couples to enjoy exquisite intimate sexual pleasure with each other. Both of them! How was she supposed to think differently, get rid of years of attitudes that were ingrained within her? How was she ever going to get passed this? She sat almost motionless as the realization began to sink in. Oh my God, please help me…

India’s journey had been long and challenging. She remembered the first workshop she had attended like it was yesterday. The facilitator was extremely warm and caring. She knew what they were all feeling because she had been there. The facilitator whose name was Anne, had shared with them how difficult it had been for her to overcome her negative attitudes about sex and intimacy; How she was taught that the only reason for sex was for procreation or making babies; How every time her husband touched her she would cringe and pray for it to hurry and be over; How she had suffered for the first 17 years of her marriage before she was finally introduced to the lessons in the Song of Solomon; How she had been so grateful to the woman that eventually forced her to attend her first workshop; How it was like therapy, an answer to her prayers; How she cried for days without being able to share with her husband the reasons for her distress. At first India had felt sorry for Anne but as she shared more of her story and her triumphs, she gave everyone that was there hope that the same thing could happen for them.

The first thing Anne had done was said a heartfelt prayer thanking God for every woman in attendance and that there would be an outpouring of healing; that each woman would be open to receive His perspective on sex and intimacy between a husband and wife the way God originally intended. She asked God to break every stronghold whether it was anger, bitterness, disconnection, impatience, pain, hurt, disappointment, negative mindsets, hatred, and anything else that might interfere with how He wanted to move at the workshop. Finally she asked God to rebuild our foundations with self-love, courage, determination, and acceptance, not only of ourselves but also of our husbands, then said Amen.

One workshop turned into two, then three, then monthly sessions, then one day India realized she felt completely different about herself and how she thought about sex and intimacy.

One of the exercises Anne had given her was to pray daily that God would turn her negative attitudes into positive ones and help her accept His perspective. She also had to counter each time an old thought came into her mind by affirming all of the positive things about sex and intimacy she was learning. She had to recite God’s perspective as many times as it popped into her head on a daily basis. She found it became easier and easier as the days and weeks went by. Once the healing began India was able to start sharing true intimate moments with her husband Jay. He loved her and wanted the best for her so he was patient, supportive, and committed to her victory. And then it happened. She was ready and Jay was thrilled! He had planned a special date with her and wanted everything to be perfect.

He gently grabbed her hand and led her to the place he had prepared especially for her. The blue bulb cast a soft sensual shadow in the room. Jasmine incense burned in the holder on the end table. Smooth jazz created a powerful aphrodisiac as it played softly in the background. A single candle flickered creating a romantic and seductive space. India scanned the area and exhaled, thankful for her husband’s thoughtfulness and care. Although India was ready to share her new self with Jay, she was nervous and a little apprehensive. She found herself a little tense, however she remembered Anne’s instructions; when the time comes just relax, breathe, and enjoy.

Jay started with a sensual massage. India silently watched as he took warm oil and oiled himself up first, his hands, arms, and chest, and that alone began to turn her on. Jay poured a generous amount of almond oil into his hands, rubbed them together to warm it up, and began by gently gliding over India’s upper back with smooth strokes using his whole hand, then over her neck and shoulders, and down and up her arms. His movements were rhythmic and sensual in their motion. He worked his hands in perfect synchronization and never lost contact with her warm skin. He worked his way down her back, using longer deeper strokes. He lightly pressed his chest up against her back, and let other parts of his body lightly skim against her.

India enjoyed the sensations of Jay’s skin brushing against her. It was so stimulating! He kissed her cheek lightly, then her neck working down her back soft and slow. He licked her lower back in circular motions, lightly breathing his warm breath up her spine, up to her ear lobe covering it with feather-like kisses, driving her wild! Sliding down he positioned himself as his tongue eagerly met her garden. Flick, tickle, lick, suck, stroke, repeat. India shuddered and screamed his name, captured by the surprise of sheer pleasure, panting, experiencing a million intense explosions. Now Jay knew India was ready as he gently entered her and she gave herself fully to him. India never knew it could feel this good. She said a silent thank you to God for this wonderful experience she was sharing with her husband. Yes the healing had come first, which allowed her to become a believer in enjoying this amazing gift of sex.

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